Mompreneur Interview with Teresa Blog Image

I have known Teresa and Eric for over 10 years, I met Teresa before I started my business, and through building relationships, we have been able to watch each other grow and evolve. Teresa and Eric are more than just a power couple they have such a deep connection that has carried them through thick and thin. Together they are living and creating their dreams. They are building a company, a community to help other small business owners. Hear more about her journey.

In her interview learn how:

  • Teresa and Eric have worked together to build a deeper connection and respect for each other
  • Just a few of the journeys they have been through and what they have learned
  • How they have overcome “failures” as some would say, or “experiences” as they say
  • How she has been able to incorporate her passion for interior design into her life and find that balance!

Teresa and Eric Photo Credit: Dustin Sheffield Photography at www.dspactive.com
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Raised by parents whom each owned small businesses, Teresa has an entrepreneur in her blood. She soon realized her love and passion for design during her education and mentorships with top designers and went on to open and run successful boutiques, interior design consultant for furniture and home décor, and launched Fashion Affair Magazine where she serves as president and editor-in-chief. In addition to managing her fashion magazine, Teresa joined husband Eric as vice president of Phoenix Business Development to help others realize their dreams and grow successful businesses.

Education & Affiliations

  • Fort Hays State University – Bachelors in Fine Arts and Interior Design
  • Junior Achievement Volunteer

Present and Prior Business Ownership Experience

  • Phoenix Business Development
  • Fashion Affair Magazine
  • TL Designs, LLC
  • Ajna Reese Boutique, LLC
  • Reese’s Rocks, LLC

Mompreneur Interview with Teresa Lipsey - Helping Others Build Their Empire

 

Mompreneur Interview with Niki Lopez
Sometimes you think you will be in corporate forever, and then you get laid off and things change! Learn how Niki took being laid off as a sign to become a freelancer, replacing her corporate income and now entering in her 10th year of business!

A little About Niki:

Niki followed a career as a producer and sports reporter for NewsRadio 850 KOA in the Denver metro area, Niki found her true passion—marketing—after accepting a position as the marketing director for a small, family-owned contracting company. Niki was then hired as a franchise marketing consultant for a large national franchise organization, which led her to discover that she had a true talent and love for consulting with franchise owners on how to make their local markets work for them.
Niki founded Focus in 2009 after recognizing the need for a boutique online marketing and public relations firm in Denver. Using her extensive media contacts along with her native-born knowledge of Colorado and the Denver market, Niki has built Focus to fit her original vision of helping business owners achieve their dreams and goals through smart and effective marketing and PR strategies.
Niki currently resides just north of Denver with her husband Cory, son Brooks, daughter Teddy, and her two dogs, Hazel and Leo. In her free time, she is an avid reader, Denver sports fan and enjoys hanging out with her family.
Niki Lopez
Focus Marketing + PR
www.focusmarketingandpr.com
303-949-1876
Connect with Me:
Mompreneur Series-Pinterest Niki
Desiree Martinez is an entrepreneur, domestic wannabe, and Harry Potter junkie known for her social media content plans and always saying ‘yes’ to new adventures.
Desiree is a social media marketing entrepreneur, Air Force spouse & mom, and host of the Marketing For Your Boring Business Podcast. She is also the founder of All-In-One Social Media a subscription social media service focused on helping small business grow through focused social media content while putting military spouses to work no matter where they are stationed in the world. She is also an award-winning social media professional and founder of Social Media Day Phoenix.
She has worked with hundreds of businesses on their social media and content marketing plan since 2009 and has recently launched her YouTube channel focused on helping ‘boring’ businesses use social media to help their message get seen in a cluttered newsfeed. She the wife of Stephen, Mom to Flynn & Harley (and dog Kara), and is currently stationed in Osan, South Korea.

Mompreneur Series-Pinterest Desiree

Caitlin McDonald and Amber Irwin Social Speak Network

Amber and Caitlin are now the center of our interview series.

Though the stories how how we started freelancing differ, the key takeaways are the same. They start with us taking a leap of faith, knowing our values, listening to our target market, and focusing on our strengths rather than trying to tackle everything.

Our ability to run full-force into our new endeavor certainly paid off as we quickly built a six figure freelance agency and even last year experienced a 40% increase in business.

Today, Caitlin and Amber teach freelancers across the world to grow and thrive.

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If you are looking to create a life you truly love, you may start to think of becoming an entrepreneur. Creating a business that you love and can help others is the best of both worlds, right?

In this interview with Ashley Howard, co-owner of Howard’s Cleaning Service, you will learn how her and her husband Billy are successful business owners. They started this business from the ground up and Ashley shares a few great tips if you are thinking of starting a service based business!

If it something you really want to do, just start your business and do it. Provide great customer service and get good at putting out fires as needed. You don’t know what is going to happen everyday, but just go with it!

Learn more about Howard’s Cleaning Service Here

Entrepreneur Series - howard's cleaning service

This is one of my favorite parts of our coaching program, core values! When we start our business it is easy to get caught up in the day-to-day, making money, setting up a website, finding new clients. All of those ‘business’ things. We forget about our core values. 

What if we reversed the order of how we start a business, if we started at square one, what do you believe in? If you think about it your core values are what has shaped you as a person. Phrases or words that your parents or family has been telling you for years, it’s the foundation of who you are and your belief system.

We need to do the same thing with our businesses. Set that foundation, what will our business look like, feel like and stand for? Your core values start with your WHY. 

  • Why did you want to start this business?
  • Who are you wanting to serve?
  • What’s Your Story?

There are a lot of successful business owners that would say they wish they would have started with their core values from the beginning, a lot of them didn’t develop or even think of their company’s core values until later on in business, like years later!

We are wanting to save you some time down the road by talking about your businesses core values now!

Setting the foundation and creating the content. By having these core values in place it helps you and your company make decisions based on shared values. Everything from hiring the right help, to bringing on new clients, creating a successful partnership, etc.

In this blog we will be covering the following topics:

  • What are Core Values
  • Why they are important
  • How to Share Your Core Values

What are Core Values?

Core Values are the base of your belief system. They are your morals, what is important to you each and every day.  The reason behind what you do.

These core values create your vision and mission for your business and shape its future. In a sense, your core values create your businesses identity.

It is important to establish strong core values from the beginning.

  • Your core values help with the decision-making process like I mentioned above this can be from hiring the right help, onboarding the right clients, quality of your products or services.
  • These core values educate your employees and clients on what your business is all about. What’s important to you and how you are different. It goes back to that golden rule “People do business with people they know, like, and trust.” That’s why core values are important.

Creating your core values can be a little more challenging than you think. Especially if it is more than yourself. If you have a business partner or team then we recommend having a conversation about what is important to each of you and how you can bring your individual core values into the business.

We talk a lot about creating your lifestyle, What does that look like? What defines success for you? What is important to you? 

When you are using your core values in decision making you want to maintain that sense of integrity, clarity, and confidence. You want to stand behind your business core values and know what’s right.

Here are a few examples of different words that can be turned into core values

Determining your core values takes some time and thought. Remember you are setting the foundation for your business success. You want to create your own values for your business.

I think it is important to check out other businesses values and see how they word them, but you are not just copying and pasting them for yourself.

Here are a few questions to think about when creating your core values

  • What makes you feel good about your business?
  • What is important to you on a daily basis?
  • What values make you feel proud of yourself and your business?
  • What sets you aside from other businesses?

Here are a few examples of core values:

The Honest Company

  1. Create a Culture of Honesty
  2. Make Beauty
  3. Outperform
  4. Service Matters
  5. Sustain Life
  6. Be Accessible
  7. Pay it Forward
  8. Fun!

SquareSpace

  1. Be your own customer
  2. Empower individuals
  3. Design is not a luxury
  4. Good work takes time
  5. Optimize towards ideals
  6. Simplify

Zappos

  1. Deliver WOW Through Service
  2. Embrace and Drive Change
  3. Create Fun and A Little Weirdness
  4. Be Adventurous, Creative, and Open-Minded
  5. Pursue Growth and Learning
  6. Build Open and Honest Relationships With Communication
  7. Build a Positive Team and Family Spirit
  8. Do More With Less
  9. Be Passionate and Determined
  10. Be Humble

More examples here 

Once you have your core values defines it is crucial you have them listed on your website within the About page, on your marketing materials, your story, your social media, on your wall. These are great daily reminders for WHY you do what you do.

Why are Core Values Important to Your Business?

There are many reasons why it is important to have core values in your business. As a business owner or freelancer, we are our business. It shows our authenticity of who we are as a person.

Core values provide us the framework of how we see our business and how we want it to grow. It also helps with behavior for your employees and clients, setting those standards from the beginning.

This shows your business, clients, and potential clients why you are different, what you believe in and how those values play a role in your everyday decision making. People that have similar values will more likely want to work for you or do business with you. It gives them a sense of trust to help them understand your business on a deeper level.

Remember in the beginning I asked you what success looked like for you? These core values can help define that success for your business. Set standards and thrive!

How to Share Your Core Values

Now that you have created your core values for your business and you now understand why they are so important to your business, it’s time to put them to work.

Think of your core values almost as a vision board for your business. It helps you find the direction in which you are wanting to continue to grow in. Top of mind!

Here are a few ideas that will help you stay true to your business’s core values:

  1. Write them down.  Put them where you can see them every day. Like a daily affirmation. You can create a sticky note that you have on your computer, screen saver, go to the about page of your site every day, somewhere you look at on a daily basis.
  2. Share them. You will have them on your website, social media profiles, maybe even your marketing materials, but more importantly, talk about them. Use them in your networking commercials, tell friends, turn them into social media posts. People do business with people they know, like, and trust, these core values will build that trust. So, get sharing!
  3. Let them be your foundation. These core values are what drives us and motivate us. They remind us of WHY we started our business and where we want to go. They will help us with the decision making within the business. They also keep us consistent. What feels right? They keep us on track!
  4. Lifestyle. This is probably the most important to me, our core values are what allow me to live the life I want. To create the lifestyle that has freedom and flexibility. How do you want to create your life? What is important to you. The core values of your business will allow you to create your the opportunity to express yourself and create your lifestyle.
  5. Apply them. Use these core values as ways to connect with different clients or potential clients. Make sure each decision is based on these core values. When onboarding a new client, does it feel right, do their values align with yours? Use them when you are hiring on new help or even outsourcing, as long as your core values are aligned with your tribe, the people you surround yourself with and work with you can accomplish anything!
How to define your core values

In Conclusion.

Each business should have a list of core values, your core values are what makes your business run. What type of people you want to hire, or work with. This is the foundation of your business. Are you ready to create your today? 

Sign up for our FREE “5 Simple Steps How to Figure Out What Your Core Values Are.”

Core Values Handout

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Aerie Lane Tarpon Springs Florida

I had the pleasure of interviewing these two amazing sisters that decided to take the leap of faith and invest, not only in themselves but in their future by opening a new franchise called Aerie Lane. In this interview you will learn:

  • How these sisters are able to work together, divide and conquer.
  • Splitting roles while one left corporate and runs the day to day and the other is still working her corporate job.
  • Playing off each other’s strengths to create an amazing partnership!

What is Aerie Lane?

Aerie Lane is about gathering with friends, creating with inspiration, and connecting projects and people in creative ways. Each time you construct a project by hand, you share a part of yourself with others.

Check out their website here to book your next party!

Like them on Facebook and support their business!

Have you been thinking of starting your own business? Need a little motivation? Maybe just a little push? We invite you to join our Facebook group here.

 

Mompreneur Interview with Owners of Aerie Lane – Tarpon Springs, FL

Mompreneur Series-Casey Smith

Mompreneur Series Interview

I love being able to interview amazing mothers from all over the world! These women have a corporate background and have either left their corporate job to follow their dreams, or others were pushed out of corporate and doors of opportunity came a knockin and changed their lives forever!

In this interview, I am speaking with Casey Smith owner of Wild Liberty Design Co, she left corporate knowing she wanted more to life, even though she was making great money and had amazing benefits, she was her kids growing up without her being able to be apart of their growth. Learn more about how she started a local and online T-shirt business and is building connections both locally and nationally.

If you are ready to take a leap of faith and start your own business, sign-up for our “Start a Business” series here

Interested in learning more? Take a look at the following videos:

How to Tell Your Story

Creating the Right Mindset as an Entrepreneur

Internal and External Goals

Interview with Casey Smith – Wild Liberty Design Co.

Have you been thinking about starting a freelancing business or going into business with a partner?

Being your own boss is an exciting and frightening feeling. It is something you want so bad and yet are afraid to chase that dream or leave your comfort zone.

I think at some point every person dreams of owning their own business, making money doing something they love to do.

Unfortunately, very few actually take that leap of faith and follow their passion and dreams.

In today’s world with this awesome tool called the internet, we truly can create a freelance business and work from anywhere.

For example, I am writing this blog from a beach by my house in Florida! 🙂

In this blog we will be covering:

  • Our Story of How We Became Partners
  • How to Know if Having a Partner is Right for You
  • Tips for Running a Successful Freelance Business with a Partner

Our Story

I remember when I started my business, I had set out to do my own thing, my own way and I was committed to making it work!

The day I started my business I already had 6 clients who had signed up for my services, so I was already making the same monthly income I was making at my corporate job!

See, the backstory on that is I told my husband (boyfriend at the time) when I left corporate to give me 6 months to replace my corporate income or I would go back!

The fact I was able to do that right away gave me even more drive and desire!

When I started my business I had offered a couple different services, social media management, networking, virtual assistant help and for a couple of my higher-end clients, I went to their office a couple days a week to help get them organized and some assistant work.

Things were moving and shaking.

I had my business for almost three years before I met Caitlin. We worked at a Marketing Firm in Northern Colorado together. We managed about 5-10 accounts for this company and really worked well together.

After a few months we had found out that owner was embezzling money from some of the clients, so we both left.

Caitlin and I both knew we liked each other and thought we should explore more about what we each do. We grabbed coffee one day and 4 hours later we had figured out that we could really complement each other.

My business had been successful for the first three years and I knew it would continue to grow if Caitlin and I could work together.  We could really take our businesses to the next level, and help all sorts of businesses with their digital marketing.

Caitlin had a different skill set than me and vice versa. We both had been managing digital marketing from two different angles.

I worked on social media management and she worked on analytics and AdWords, so we really complemented each other.

We each had our own businesses with our own clients that would benefit from each other’s skills and services.

We decided to work together, we thought it would be best to keep our own businesses but incorporate each other’s services by offering them to our own clients. Just to test the water, we wanted to make sure we would really work well together before we said: “I do, want to be your business partner.”

This worked extremely well, we were each bringing in more clients and happy with the results they were getting.

We worked together for over a year when we hired our second intern.  It had started to get a little confusing for our intern trying to keep track of what clients were Caitlin’s, what clients were mine and which were ours together!

We really had to work on our systems at this point!

The TALK

We had a long talk about how we both managed our own businesses, what systems we had in place, price points, income, how we each managed our own clients and where we needed help, etc.

There were a few things we would both have to adjust if we joined forces, but we were both committed to doing so.

My grandmother was a CFP and owned three H&R Blocks in Michigan for over 25 years, so we had a conversation with her about moving forward with becoming partners and combining our businesses.

Our question was “how do we partner and join forces and what is the best way to do this?”.

I have to be honest, my grandmother was not very excited about the thought of us being “Business Partners.”  She had told us that almost every business tax return she had done with partnerships never ended well.

They couldn’t agree on finances, roles, services, prices, or one would think they were doing more work than the other, lack of communication, the list went on.

We both knew that by working together we would be able to reach new goals and grow our business.

We both have exceptional work ethics. Our core values are in alignment. We compliment each other nicely.

A few things needed to happen before we moved forward, the biggest thing was roles!

Roles in the Business:

– Who was going to manage the money
– Accounts Payable and Receivable
– Sales
– Marketing of our own business
– Client Interaction
– Managing our Interns
– Day to day tasks

We both were able to express what our goals were, where we wanted to be, how we wanted to grow the business. We both were able to play off of our strengths and weaknesses.

We had written out what each of our responsibilities would be and what our expectations were for each other. This helped set the foundation for our successful business. We got those uneasy conversations out in the open first thing.

Still, to this day we have our own roles and have had very clear conversations about money and expectations.

Long story short, we decided to go for it and we created Boundless Internet Marketing Solutions (The BIMS Team). We both kept our own LLC’s and formed an S-Corp together. We decided that any client that had to do with marketing would go through The BIMS Team. We also agreed if we had a client or project that was outside the scope of BIMS we could run it through our own LLC as long as we communicated. This included side projects like I made soaps and sold them for fun, Caitlin refinished furniture and has an online store where she sells apparel.

How to know if Partnership is Right for You

I have always loved the idea of co-creating. I also know I am a control freak and like things done my way! As much as I like things to go my way and have the control I also knew that I could learn a lot from Caitlin. We could really go far with our business together.

Teamwork+Trust = Success

I liked the idea of shared responsibilities, someone to hold me accountable, someone to bounce ideas off of and feedback on projects.

I think before you decide to have a business partner you need to have a self-talk.

Really understand the type of person you are and who you want to be. You have to be honest with yourself and understand the areas where you can grow and change your ways.

You also have to be ok with taking direction or constructive criticism from someone else.

For example, there are times where Caitlin has an idea to change a system or process that we have had in place and I usually have resistance towards that change. She talks me through the new process and how it is going to help us, I let my guard down and allow the change to take place.

9 out of 10 times it works out for the better!

Just remember it is ok for things to grow, adjust and change. I have to remind myself that this is why we started our own business to have that freedom and flexibility.

Having a partner in a freelance business can really be a powerful tool. Time to time, I think where would I be in my business if I didn’t meet Caitlin, or if we didn’t join forces. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t be the person I am today if we hadn’t joined forces.

I am a type of person that LOVES my comfort zone! Caitlin helps me grow and pushes me. (In a good way)

It has been a great journey so far learning from each other, and for each of us to allow another to grow in their our own ways. To also collaborate on new business goals and techniques. You can set yourself up for personal and business success with a partner.

This past year, we both took the ‘What’s Your WHY?’ test and that was a huge eye-opener for us. You have to trust each other and know that both of your end goals is the same. You may both take different roads to complete a task or project, but as long as neither one of you are hurting the business or brand, allow each other to flow.

Tips for Running a Successful Freelance Business with a Partner

Like I said above, having a partner is a great idea if both of your personalities mesh together and you can work well together. Ove the past 7 years of running a successful freelance business with a business partner where everything is 50/50. I have learned a few things about having a business partner.

Here are 10 Tips for you: 

1.Have a Successful History Together Before Forming the Company

It is important to form a relationship/friendship outside of work, this piece can be tricky. You want to find that right balance, of friendship and work relationship. You want to feel comfortable with this person. Someone you can go grab a beer with or call if you need something. You have to be yourself!

2. Agree on a Vision

In the beginning “Talk” you need to both express your vision for what each of you is thinking for the company. Outline a one-year plan, three-year plan, five-year plan, and long-term plan.

Where do you both see yourself in ten years?

Is your vision the same?

Are you both wanting to serve the same target market?

Are your both looking to grow the business with the same idea of services or programs?

3. Have the Hard Talks About Money

Make sure to keep your communication open about money. This is the key to run your business and grow. If you both are not on the same page you need to talk about it. How do you both feel about money? What is your worth? How should you charge for services? Where is there flexibility with pricing and working with clients?

Will you have monthly contracts with your clients, do they pay weekly, or monthly? How will they Pay? Credit Card, Check, PayPal, Stripe, Cash?

Then, once you are both in agreement about how you are going to charge your clients and collect money. Then you need to have the conversation about how do you pay each other. Are you going to have paydays?

At the beginning of our business journey together, we would split the money as soon as someone paid, so if we had a $500 client pay that day we would each make $250. This was fine when it was just us two.

We hired interns early on to help with certain tasks, so then we started having business expenses. We needed to figure out how we were going to pay our interns or contractors. We pay them on the 1st and 15th and then we decided it would be better if we set dates to pay each other. So, we pay each other the 1st and 3rd Friday each month. We adjust if needed.

This put another system/process in place for our business.

4. Decide the Roles

Figuring out the roles and expectations of each other will help things run more smoothly. Now, there are two of you so it is a good idea to split the business responsibilities.

I suggest to sit down and write out a list of every task there is to running your business. Write it down on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. I mentioned these roles before:

– Who was going to manage the money – Accounts receivable and accounts payable
– Bills and expenses – who is in charge of making sure those are paid?
– Sales – are you both bringing in new clients? Do you each have a goal or minimum of new clients you want to bring in each month?
– Marketing for your business – who is doing the blogging, videos, social media, networking, digital marketing, etc.
– Client Interaction – are you both going to have the client interaction or is all communication going through one person? Do you figure out who interacts with them based on who brought them to the business?
– Managing Interns or Contractors- Who is in charge of finding help? How much will you pay them? How will you pay them? What are your expectations or requirements for each intern or contractor?

Once you have your list written down, you can then both go through it and pick the tasks you want to manage. The ones that neither of you is passionate about, see if you can hire those out. Work smarter not harder.

5. Understand Each Other’s Commitment

Core values come into play here. When you understand where your core values are at then you can understand each other’s commitment level for the business. What is each of your commitment to the business, clients and each other?

6. Identify Each Other’s Strengths and Weaknesses

This is why you are even thinking of having a partner because they most likely do something that you don’t. Outline each of your strengths and weaknesses, this is something you may have jotted down during your own self-talk section. What areas in your business do you excel at and where are the areas that you may not pay as much attention or areas that are more weak for you or you are not as passionate about. Each of you needs to do this. You should both have different strengths and weaknesses. If you both have very similar strengths and weaknesses, you might want to reevaluate that partnership. Will you be able to push each other and compliment each other?

7. Compatible Styles

Now, that you both have discussed your core values and outlines each of your strengths and weaknesses, it is time to make sure you are compatible. Where your weaknesses are should be your partners’ strengths, and where their weaknesses are should be your strengths.

Being compatible can go deeper than just running the business.

For example, Partner #1 works 12-14 hours a day, has no kids and is always trying to get new clients to get the business up and running to bring her vision into play. Is very driven and doesn’t like to be told what to do.

Partner #2 has a family and needs to find that work/life balance, has a busy schedule with hobbies or child activities and may work more in the evening than during the day.

This could be a problem for some people, this is where those upspoken expectations come into play. As long as each of you is able to get the work was done and you can communicate during hours that work for each of you, then you are compatible.

You need to have common ground and communicate about schedules and family life. We have found that having a task-driven company works better, there are days where I may only work 3-5 hours a day and then there are days where I am working 12-14 hours a day and same with Caitlin.

We can’t track each others hours and hold that over each other’s heads but have those roles and tasks clearly outlines so you both know what is expected from you each day.

Another thing to talk about with your business partner is their “psychographic” styles. In a nutshell, what is their personality like, values, attitudes, interests and lifestyles?

8. Figure Out How to Grow the Business

Go back to number 2 – What is your vision? If you both have the same or at least a similar end-goal then what are the steps you both need to take to reach that goal? Set monthly and annual goals for the business. Revisit that one-year, three-year, and five-year plans.

9. Have a Plan for Success

You have set your goals which is great and now you need to create your plan. If you both want to make over six figures a year, what does that look like? How many clients or projects do you need to have each year to reach that level of success? What does success look like for each of you? Is it happy clients? Six-figure income? Make sure you are both on the same page.

10.Have an Exit Strategy

The last thing – put an exit strategy in place. This is something that just protects each of you and again outlines those expectations.

If either of you chooses to part-ways, what does that look like? Sometimes things just don’t work out. Maybe one of you got a new opportunity or decides to go in a different direction. Maybe deciding to start a family and chooses not to work at this time.

You need to have a clear outline. Is there a buy-out process? Do you measure how many clients each of you brought to the company? Can you just walk away and let your partner continue?

This is another hard talk to have, but it is important to discuss an exit strategy so you don’t burn bridges with your partner or clients.

 

We covered a lot on this blog and you may need a little time to really think about if having a business partner is right for you. If you discuss these steps we outlined you both are on your way to success!

Are you ready to grow your freelance business?

 

We invite you to sign-up for our start and grow a freelance business!

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Interested in learning more? Take a look at the following articles:

Importance of Having a Schedule

How to track your goals

Cost-Effective Ways to Market Your Local Business Online

 

Have you been thinking about starting a freelancing business or going into business with a partner? In this blog we will be covering: Our Story of How We Became Partners How to Know if Having a Partner is Right for You Tips for Running a Successful Freelance Business with a Partner #businesstip #freelancing #freelancebusiness #runningafreelancebusiness

 

mk ectopic and miscarriage

“You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep spring from coming.” – Pablo Neruda

I first wrote this blog in January, waiting for spring and new beginnings to bring fresh light to the loss we endured in December, but alas, a new situation has arisen where I need to share and invite a community of others into my life. When I finished writing this post at the end of March, I couldn’t click publish. Now, it is nearly 3 months later, and I’m finally editing my blog to share with others.

This post will be difficult to write and I assume difficult to read. My goal is not to hold back, but to embrace my mission of creating a community of strong and empowered entrepreneurs. Being authentic and open about my own struggles will hopefully help you do the same as you face your fears and create something for yourself.

I start here with my miscarriage at 10.5 weeks in December, followed by a ruptured ectopic pregnancy 2.5 weeks ago (in March) at 6.5 weeks, and end with a message of love and support that being a mompreneur has provided me.

Part 1: The unexpected loss.

I could see his eyes drop as the ER resident brought the ultrasound across my body one last time. Joe slowly shook his head as he looked me in the eyes. He had seen what we already knew was true: our little baby was gone.

Every year we travel back to the east coast between Thanksgiving and Christmas to take advantage of low ticket prices and fewer travelers during the Holiday season. It’s a time that we can spend with my Joe’s brother’s family, my brother’s family, my parents, and our friends.

As business owners, we always spend a few hours here and there working, but this is a time of relaxation and reconnection with friends and family.

This year was different. Both my sister-in-law and I were pregnant with our second children and due 7 days apart! Our daydreams were filled with visions of the cousins growing up together and reaching the same milestones in sync. Our trip started with pure joy and excitement. MK and her cousin J were all snuggles and did a great job of playing and sharing with each other.

We then announced my pregnancy to my aunt and grandparents who were over the moon that the family brood was growing: from 1 great granddaughter a few years ago to soon-to-be 8 great-grandchildren by mid 2018.

But the next day I saw a little blood. After calling the doctor’s office, I was reassured that perhaps I just had a yeast infection, and it wouldn’t harm the baby. The following morning, however, I started having cramps around 5 am,  and my optimism quickly vanished. Waking my husband up, I crawled upstairs to tell my mom we needed to go to the hospital and asked if she and Dad could watch MK until we returned.

Then I had my first set of contractions. Though not as bad as actual labor contractions, I was quickly reminded of how utterly bad I am at natural labor and immediately rushed to the bathroom to throw up and collapse in pain on the floor. Heading back downstairs a few minutes later another contraction came, and I passed what I knew was our little baby.

In the ER at Dartmouth Hitchcock, we were met by a lovely nurse and an ER resident who guided us through the ultrasounds. They took their time not only explaining what had happened but also shared their own personal stories of loss. They explained that it looked like the baby had stopped growing about a week and a half before and reiterated over and over that there was nothing we could have done.

We felt the loss and pain deeply, but were fortunate to be surrounded by family and love. Joe and I cried and held each other in support as we processed everything in waves over the following months.

At one point, shortly after our ER trip, I realized that based on the timeline, the baby had died right after Thanksgiving, when we had told my in-laws that we were expecting. Our little angel had found their to a better place as they were surrounded by love, prayers, and well wishes. This realization that the baby left the world embraced in love has helped me move forward. It helped me overcome the pain I felt that our baby had died, and nobody knew for a week and a half.

Additionally, I found talking about the loss opened doors to deeper connections with the women in my life. People who were once only acquaintances shared their own stories, and I realized I was not alone.

Everyone deals with the pain of a miscarriage differently and on their own time, but being able to have these conversations allowed me to accept our truth and become excited about the growing our family once again.

Unfortunately, the joy we experienced when we next saw the second blue line was short lived.

Part 2: Left in a daze.

This time around, I first thought I was pregnant while at Steamboat for a long weekend and ski trip with friends and family. I kept my excitement at bay until I was certain of a missed period and waited one more day to take a pregnancy test.

Above all else, I truly didn’t want to get too excited. In the 2 months following my miscarriage, each period was a tragic reminder of our loss. I would get my hopes up for a positive pregnancy test only to start my period the following day. This month, I wanted to set aside the stress and give my body time to tell me in its own time.

All stresses at bay, we were ecstatic when the test came back positive. But, with visitors in town and more coming, I pushed off scheduling my first visit with the OBGYN (which I knew wouldn’t happen until 7-8 weeks anyways). I felt great (at least as great as you can feel in early pregnancy ) but was sore, tired, and had mild aches and pains.

However, one thing was new. My cramps, though mild and aligned with a changing body, felt a little too strong for so early in the pregnancy. Additionally, I experienced pain in my ribs just under my left breast. It reminded me of the aches and pains I experienced later in the pregnancy with MK, so I didn’t try to think much of it.

At 5.5 weeks, however, I looked up ectopic pregnancy symptoms and even brought up to my sister-in-law that I was afraid that I had it, but I wasn’t fully convinced. After all, the cramps weren’t consistent with an ectopic pregnancy, but that nagging pain in my ribs – where was it coming from?

My sister-in-law and I chatted about how you can’t scrutinize everything in a pregnancy, because it would cause too much stress.

Especially after a miscarriage, all you want to do is scrutinize each slight feeling…you’re hyper aware all the time. But, God has his plan, and trusting in that needs to be enough.

Then Wednesday night came. At about 12:30am, I popped out of bed thinking I needed to use the restroom and ended up crawling from the bedroom to our bathroom, dry heaving over the toilet, then collapsing in pain, burning up, and nearly blacking out. Just barely able to call for Joe, I managed a drink of water and ate a cracker.

All I could think about was, “Is this what morning sickness and early pregnancy constipation actually feel like?!” My pregnancy with MK was so easy. I only had morning sickness once, so I honestly thought that my fever, chills, and urge to throw up was because I needed a little food to settle my stomach.

After a few minutes I managed to get back to bed and slept until morning.

On Thursday, I had my weekly networking group, but knew I needed to use the restroom before I left (I really thought I was constipated or even impacted). One thing led to another and before I knew it, I was on the kitchen floor crying in the phone to my mom, a retired nurse, about how to relieve myself.

How embarrassing, right?

Joe had gone to the meeting for me to drop off handouts for a presentation I was scheduled to give, while I stayed at home, in pain, crying about not being able to poop! I then called the hospital and asked for a nurse in the women’s clinic to call back about early pregnancy constipation and to schedule my 8 week ultrasound.

Amber (my business partner) and I chatted after Joe returned home, and I even laughed with her about how embarrassing it was to be in so much pain.

Finally my nurse called back and I decided I absolutely couldn’t take the pain anymore. The pain was growing worse by the second, especially that rib pain! Crying on the phone, I exclaimed that I needed to come in and luckily, the nurse listened and squeezed me in for an appointment with their new midwife. Could I be there in 20 minutes? “I’ll be there.”

After hanging up, I called Joe, who was out for a walk with MK and Clover, and said we needed to go to the hospital right now.

He rushed home, we piled in the car, and off we went.

From the facial expressions of the midwife—whom I hadn’t met previously—I swore she thought I was insane. I kept going back to how utterly ridiculous it was to be in so much pain from a lack of bowel movement. Hadn’t I gone just fine the day before? Was the rib pain from gas? Or was it actually referred pain from an ectopic pregnancy?

Apparently, my judgement of her facial expression was totally wrong and the ultrasound tech cut her lunch break short to make sure I could be seen before her busy afternoon. We immediately made the trek upstairs to the OB clinic, but when we arrived, I needed to sit to keep from fainting and was immediately rushed to the closest restroom to throw up.

I knew the ultrasound tech from both prior pregnancies and loved how she talked through everything she saw. I think (technically) the techs are supposed to wait until a doctor reviews the findings, but she helps her patients understand exactly what they are looking at on the screen.

We started the ultrasound and immediately I recognized my uterus looked different. It was dark, meaning there was no embryo, but there also were dark spots as she moved the ultrasound wand around. She began looking for the sac in my right Fallopian tube, but all we found were pockets of blood all the way up to my pancreas.

Turning to the left, we immediately found my baby… along with a ruptured Fallopian tube. She stayed on the embryo for a minute, taking measurements and listening for a heartbeat. I forget now if the my little kidney bean’s heartbeat was able to be measured, but it was the perfect size for a 6.5 week old fetus.

My sweet baby was absolutely perfect, but in the wrong place.

I already knew then that the next steps would be surgery to stop the bleeding, remove my Fallopian tube, and save my life. By the time the doctor arrived at the ultrasound room, I had already heard a call being made to prep an OR room for my arrival.

As my eyes fluttered closed in the OR, I forced myself to focus on an image of Joe holding MK to keep my breath steady.

Long story short, I am forever grateful that I listened to my body, that the nurse listened to me, and that the doctors rushed to action without delay.

Healing after a Ruptured Ectopic Pregnancy

I wasn’t initially going to put this into the post, but there is so little information out there about healing after laparoscopic surgery for an ectopic pregnancy.

We were lucky for a few reasons:

  • I’m healthy and athletic
  • MK is a darling
  • Joe can make his own hours (also a business owner)
  • Joe’s family is 45 minutes away
  • My mom was able to fly out, as well

We’ve had a lot of help , which has allowed me to focus on resting and healing. The first 2 days I took my ibuprofen and Vicodin as instructed, but soon grew wary of how I felt on Vicodin and switched to only ibuprofen and acetaminophen here and there.

The biggest challenge was MK. She was at the hospital, though not in any of the exam rooms, but she was VERY worried about my boo boos. We realized after the 2nd night that she needed more one-on-one time with Mommy, and we started watching Sesame Street each afternoon before dinner.

As a family that doesn’t even have a TV in the living room, the screen time was not ideal, but at least it was something we could do together.

About a week after the surgery, my body felt a lot better, so it became a little more difficult to make sure I didn’t overdo anything. I still wasn’t scheduling client meetings, and mentally I could only really hold one thought in my head at a time. I worked some, but not even at 50%.

MK, however, was exhausting. My poor husband… She started crying for hours at night and throwing temper tantrums at every little thing. It took me awhile to get back to a point where I felt like I could help discipline her, but it’s difficult to say “Let’s do X instead” when you can’t then actually pick her up, let alone get up, to change the situation. Again, poor Joe.

Luckily, my mom stayed with us for a week and helped keep our house clean and take MK for walks or to the park to keep her occupied.

Now three months out, the steri strips are gone, the stitches have fallen out, and I’m feeling like myself again.

Emotionally, the pregnancy has caused more fear about the future rather than sadness about the loss. I think this is because we hadn’t been in to the doctor’s office for that exciting first ultrasound yet (combined with how in the back of my head I thought something was wrong).

Above all, I feel a longing for the naivety of my first pregnancy with MK.

Part 3: The Power of Connection.

Mompreneur's story of a miscarriage followed by a ruptured ectopic pregnancy and the value of a supportive community to move forward, miscarriage, pregnancy, #family, business, #sheboss, community, #healingIn times of loss and helplessness, it is easy to get lost in your own thoughts. You can also, however, use your loss as an avenue to open doors and build relationships.

I am overcome by how talking through recent misfortune has allowed me to connect on a deeper level with my business partners, clients, friends, and family.

Everyone has their own story, and allowing myself to start the conversation invited others open up about their own experiences.

As business owners, we need to take this to heart, as well. The world is full of people who want to see you succeed. If you have big dreams, you should talk about them. If you are struggling, find a coach or accountability partner to help you find the way.

As a mompreneur specifically, we are always pulled in so many different directions. It can be lonely even when we are surrounded by others at play times or in meetings with clients. Each waking moment is either devoted to our family or our business. Even instances of relaxation are flooded with thoughts of the next step to reach our goals. It is exhilarating, yet exhausting.

The past few months, however, have truly shown that being a mompreneur, though utterly draining at times, is incredibly rewarding.

Taking a step back since my surgery to heal has allowed me to examine the relationships I’ve built. It has reiterated that though I only work with my small team scattered throughout the country, my business relationships have a far more impactful reach. It is a privilege to be able to engage in conversations with clients about my experiences and have them open up in return. To have them write letters and send flowers (or home cooked meals) weeks later, letting me know they are still thinking about my family.

What comes next?

Time will tell 🙂

Today (3/29), I have the all clear to pick up my little love again, though her feet sit right at my scars. MK has been worried, however, since the hospital, so hopefully a nice hug and kiss will help her recognize mommy’s boo boo is all healed.

Her worrying has caused our usually sweet and silly girl to throw tantrums at every decision and to wake up screaming to be let out of the crib each night (Currently it’s 8pm and MK is exclaiming “All done NAPPING” … “Daddy, Daddy in bedroom, No Crib, Come out bedroom, Daddy out crib, come out bedroom, all done napping…” It might be a long night).

Hopefully, in the next few days her temperament will start coming back to normal. (A huge shout out to my husband for his patience and to the YMCA for their childcare so he can get some work done).

It’s been a tough go of it, but with mommy back, fingers crossed she snaps back to it! We’ve also had family in town for nearly 6 weeks straight, so a normal routine will be a welcome change.

Please feel free to leave a comment with your own story or experience. Sometimes things that are taboo are they best conversations to have.

I’ve been lucky to have a local community of business owners who understand the struggles of getting your hands dirty. Our goal with Social Speak is to create a community of values-driven professionals who wish to build a creative outlet in their lives, establish relationships with other driven moms, and grow their business beyond their wildest dreams.